Posted October 1st, 2012

Week 1 – Holy Relationship Readings

Prayer of the Month

As you may know this month’s theme is on the Holy Relationship. We start off the month with a “prayer” that we have taken from the Text, Chapter 18, Section V. The Happy Dream, Paragraphs 6-7. These two small paragraphs lead us to a process by which we can have peace instead of what we are seeing in any relationship.

In a relationship, deep down we really do want peace to reign. Most times though we act as if we want anything but peace. We mistrust, we judge, we hurl insults and criticism, and few times we actually offer nonjudgmental listening and unconditional love. What Jesus lays out for us in these two paragraphs is actually how we can indeed choose higher ground no matter what our brother is choosing at the moment.

It really isn’t about what they are or are not choosing. It is about what we, ourselves are choosing.

Jesus starts off by saying when we feel the holiness of our relationship is threatened by anything, (Anything being anything but love and anything that disturbs our peace.) we are stop right there and then. No excuses, no whining, no platitudes, but stop dead in your tracks and realize you need help. So in the middle of that argument, don’t care about if you are right or not, stop, and ask for help.

You have everything to gain and nothing to lose by stopping and joining with the Holy Spirit. Sometimes we think that we lose our power over the other person if we would do so or it proves that we are wrong or anything to that effect. Instead, it proves that we desire peace.

You are sane when you remember in these tense moments. Say to yourself, “Ah, yes, this is insane. I don’t really want to argue with this person. I want it to be calm and quiet and enjoy our time together. They can chatter on, but I’m going to stop here in my mind and ask for a miracle. I’m going to say to Holy Spirit, help me.”

And so Jesus helps us by his words in this section.

Remember and say, he says:

I desire this holy instant for myself, that I may share it with my brother, whom I love.
It is not possible that I can have it without him, or he without me.
Yet it is wholly possible for us to share it now.
And so I choose this instant as the one to offer to the Holy Spirit, that His blessing may descend on us, and keep us both in peace.

Do it and everything will change. Perhaps not in form, but in your mind you will know that you made a difference. You want to join with Holy Spirit, you want to join with your brother. It is the Truth as God as made it so.

Now it is your turn to make a difference.

Text, Chapter 22, Introduction

We are brought together because we are one. We need our brother to release what bars we have placed between us to keep us alone and separate. The holiness of our relationship forgives both of us. It sees no sin and undoes everything we have made here in this world. This is not just about romantic relationships, the Holy Relationship is every relationship, if we so choose. That means your family, friends, co-workers, people who have passed on, people you pass by, everyone and anyone.

When I look at you then, I see only the truth. I do not see all the myriad of ways that you have hurt or embarrassed me, or put me down and sealed my unworthiness. I see all of that gone. I don’t see the body, this world, and the past, none of it. I exist in the present, eternal moment.

Sin is not needed. Sin is a “mistake” that we have made. We only hold on to our belief in the old definition of “sin”. In holiness we were created and in holiness sin does not exist. But we don’t always see it that way, do we? We want to blame others and make them responsible for our misery. But we cannot.

As Jesus says: For an unholy relationship is based on differences, where each one thinks the other has what he has not. They come together, each to complete himself and rob the other. They stay until they think that there is nothing left to steal, and then move on.

What is it that I want from my brother? My motive isn’t as pure as I thought it was. If I look at my past, at times I wanted protection, at other times I wanted to be loved and care for, and even at other times I wanted to be admired and put on a pedestal. If you did not give that to me, you were nothing to me. I get what I want and then on I go to the next person.

It sounds pretty cold, yet it is what we do. We think that someone here in the world is going to complete us. That two halves will make a whole. It will never happen. It is merely a story that we have told ourselves. We are already complete in God. That in itself, is the HAPPILY EVER AFTER. Not the prince on the white steed (or Mercedes) who is going to sweep me off my feet and carry me off to his castle in a luxurious lifestyle. What if he loses all his money? What if he finds someone else more beautiful than I? It is something that we will always worry about. If we lose it, or choose to move on to someone else better than the last, what have we gained?


That is what this world is about MISERY.

Yet we can choose differently in our relationships. We can know that internally we have everything that we need. We can choose to partner with another person knowing too that within them they have everything in them. They don’t need us and we don’t need them, by ego’s standards that is.

We choose to spend our life together and choose to learn and grow and heal in love and Holy Spirit’s Wisdom. Rev. Paul and I chose that, and not always was it a bed of roses, at times there were thorns. But what it always came down to was, “Why are we in this relationship?” We were in it because we chose to make of it a holy relationship.

Neither is lacking, except in our own minds. When we get into insanity mode and believe that the other owes us something, we have to accept sanity by way of the Holy Spirit and see that no, no indeed, we owe nothing but gratitude to our brother. We can learn the Truth about ourselves, if we so choose it.

That has been our journey over these 10 years together. It has been unlike any other relationship that I have had. We joined purposefully and with praying together to the Holy Spirit to bless the union and assist us to uncover all of those blocks to the awareness of Love’s Presence. As I said, at times it was not always the best of times, but I wouldn’t trade those dark hours for anything else. They taught me more about myself than ever before. I welcome each new lesson, each nuance that comes my way now. I look at it with wonderment and appreciate the Aha’s. It is a gift and as Jesus says in the last sentence, “For what is born into a holy relationship can never end.”

Even if the relationship would end in form, the holiness will never end, the gifts will never cease, and the connection will never disappear.


Rev. Deb Phelps, Senior Minister


Don’t take my word on it!

Join us on our Online Forum to discuss what your own insights and experiences are of this month’s theme.


Insights on This Week’s Reading
October 2012 – Week 1

October’s Theme: Holy Relationship

This month’s readings are located at this link.

Audio Version with Rev. Deb (entire reading is read).   


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