This light can not be lost. Why wait to find it in the future, or believe it has been lost already, or was never there? It can so easily be looked upon that arguments which prove it is not there become ridiculous. Who can deny the presence of what he beholds in him? It is not difficult to look within, for there all vision starts. There is no sight, be it of dreams or from a truer Source, that is not but the shadow of the seen through inward vision. There perception starts, and there it ends. It has no source but this. W-188
In our “The Light Within” class, we have used Lesson 188 – The peace of God is shining in me now, as our overall theme. Recently I shared the following:
When I focus on the external I cannot fathom I have the light within me. I am distracted by the world, by the people, and by the emotions. All these tell me the opposite of the truth, be it negativity or arrogance. Either way I listen to the arguments of what is false. I take them on and believe them to be true. Yet, how could they be? A part of me knows they are not. That part of me is the part to trust.
Too long I have listened to the illusions swirling around me. As in my recent experience, I listened and believed to what was not true, even for the short amount of time that I did. I cannot stop others’ projections upon me, but I do not have to take them on as the truth about me either. I can learn from what is true, heal and go on my way.
My holiness abides in me and that is the only light to see. God does not condemn me and no more shall I. I cannot condemn others for their projections nor believe they should be or act differently. I have the responsibility of my mind to heal and in healing my mind we are all healed together.
God goes with me wherever I go.
Today’s idea will eventually overcome completely the sense of loneliness and abandonment all the separated ones experience. Depression is an inevitable consequence of separation. So are anxiety, worry, a deep sense of helplessness, misery, suffering and intense fear of loss. W-41
It is no accident these recent lessons and the lessons that I shared this week and last for my Sunday Message on our holiness, all lead to the light and holiness within. I feel such gratitude that I brought these reminders to myself.
As I take the first paragraph in this lesson and use it with my recent experience, I know I was feeling lonely and abandoned. I did feel separate and as a victim. All that he describes in this paragraph I felt deeply. Yet in my willingness I was presented with gifts. The gifts of good friends to process my feelings, the gift of my planned presentations, and the gift of my willingness itself.
By that speck of willingness I realized that I was not alone and I am not the ogre that someone has believed. I chose to focus my attention on one voice instead of the joined voices that remind me of the love that I am. Why is it that we focus on one negative voice vs. hundreds of voices of love? It’s because we still believe that negativity about ourselves and that one ego voice is our confirmation.
As I came out of my fear stupor, I felt stronger and stronger. I also received better physical rest. I can tend to not sleep as much especially with my duty for my grandson in the early morning hours a couple of times a week. I have made a commitment to myself to be sure I am taking care of myself by getting sufficient rest. I know when I am on this average of 4 1/2 hours of sleep I can take things more personally.
Regardless, sleep or no sleep, I accept that deep within me is perfection even when I am not perfect in my body or personality. When I allow the light that I am radiate within and without, I become stronger in my resolve and all is healed. I can only send love to everyone, critics and supporters alike. There is only love and that is what I share with everyone right now, here in this moment, emanating from my heart.
In the Heart of Love,
Rev. Deb Phelps