“No one can escape from illusions unless he looks at them, for not looking is the way they are protected. …We are ready to look more closely at the ego’s thought system because together we have the lamp that will dispel it, and since you realize you do not want it, you must be ready. Let us be very calm in doing this, for we are merely looking honestly for truth. The ‘dynamics’ of the ego will be our lesson for a while, for we must look first at this to see beyond it, since you have made it real. We will undo this error quietly together, and then look beyond it to truth” (T.11.V.1:1,3,4,5,6)
On a deep level we have believed that the separation is real and that we are unworthy otherwise to know God. Yet further still hidden behind the guilt is that memory. We fear the Love of God.
“You are not seriously disturbed by your hostility. You keep it hidden because you are more afraid of what it covers. You could look even upon the ego’s darkest cornerstone without fear if you did not believe that, without the ego, you would find within yourself something you fear even more. You are not really afraid of crucifixion. Your real terror is of redemption” (T.13.III.1:7,8,9,10,11)
The ego will do whatever it can to defend against Love and to keep you from remembering the Truth. We study and practice this Course to uncover the layers that have been built up. When we resist looking at the darkness it is really a camouflage for resistance to looking at the light within.
It does not have to be a painful process. It can be done gently. And, Jesus tells us: “Do not be afraid of the ego ” (T.7.VIII.5:1) We still need to look at what we have made without judgment so the Holy Spirit can look upon it. When we are afraid of what we see as the ego’s actions it is because we have judged them and this keeps guilt multiplying. This also keeps Holy Spirit at bay.
The memory of God is still wtihin our mind. The Holy Spirit knows this and knows what we experience here is all a dream. We can use our experience here as the classroom. In this classroom, forgiveness is what we practice. We forgive the thought and belief we are separated from God. God is still there as is His Love. Nothing can take that away from us, including the layers of guilt we have built up. Looking at these layers head on rather than continually to deny, ignore or use others as a scapegoat will have us realize the truth. We have believed the separation is true and it is our belief that needs adjusted.
When we accept a belief, “separation” for example, we protect that belief to the utmost. We push down all the thoughts and feelings we do have and try to be Course-perfect as I like to say. Yet, looking at these scary thoughts head on without judgment of any kind (including fear) is what will disintegrate them. It’s to say, “Yes, I had a judgment against a brother and I thought unlovingly about him.” It is said as an observation, rather than a guilty plea. Holy Spirit always sees our innocence in the matter because that is all there is to see.
The memory of God lies within us. We have to stop kidding ourselves and distracting ourselves with what we think is important here in the world, that is our specific problems. Yes, we have to deal with our problems but the one problem is the one thought we hold so steadfast and that is the belief in the separation. It come out in so many avenues here as in our relationships with others. We activate hate and bulit the walls instead of activating miracles and see the golden cord of light that unites us. We undo the ego and we heal the belief of separation by the Atonement with Holy Spirit’s assistance. Isn’t this a better way to live? To live more lovingly and kind versus filled with anxiety and pain? Allow the memory to surface and accept the gift of peace.
Rev. Deb Phelps
November 22, 2014