Chapter 7, VI. From Vigilance to Peace
I can never understand what is meaningless. I can never make the meaningless meaningful. No matter how I try in this world with everyone I have placed around me, it is futile. I am spinning my wheels trying to make something happen, something different, something better, out of the same pain. It cannot. The ego is no thing. This is not joy. The world does not bring it. The ego cannot be loved or understood. How can I love something that is merely a fearful thought. A thought can be changed, this I will remember. My vigilance will fortify my memory and then I will live in complete peace.
I give up my plans for heading down the same tunnel hoping that the cheese will be there this time. It never will. And the cheese is not even what I want.
Thank You Holy Spirit for undoing my illusions. I know it is through my own willingness that I hand them to You. I will deprive myself of joy no longer.
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