Chapter 7, VIII. The Unbelievable Belief
Intimacy and communication: As I reflect, I see where I have projected conflict in the past and can now instead extend love.
In the past with various relationships, I would hold an expectation that the other person needed to reveal all information to me, feelings, thoughts, everything. No secrets did I want in the relationship. Yet my old pattern had been to share only just so much and then hide and hold back as in an attempt to protect myself.
Needless to say, this stuffing of the feelings led to some pretty intense internal and external conflicts. All because I held back from being completely honest with what was alive in me in the moment. And because I did this, if in a situation the other person did not do what I wanted, I would explode and blame them. I would continue to say that they had not listened to me, but the truth was that I never shared with them in the first place! I would make the other person wrong, always.
That was then.
This is now.
The now is being in touch with Holy Spirit with what is in my mind, stopping and asking “What is Your Guidance? Am I projecting onto this person? What would you have me say or do?”
My trust is placed in Him. My honesty is placed in Him as well. Now I can be authentic to myself, to God and to my brothers. Intimacy is into-me-see. There is nothing to fear when honesty has taken the forefront. Honesty helps me to heal. Intimacy helps me to heal. Loves washes through it all.
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