There are always those people or situations in our lives that seem to trigger a chaotic response. You know of which I speak, right? That one person or that one memory that sets you off the deep end and into panic, anger and upset. It’s as if you are driving 0-100 in a millisecond. You know you don’t want to be quick to attack or defend, but you do, then you regret it and feel guilty.

I, too, know of this because I have experienced it in my life. The Course is here with us as a tool to assist us to use its principles in every aspect of our lives. Recently I had an experience with a family member where it could have been as I described earlier, however, I am noticing more and more how easily I can slip into the Spirit’s glove instead of the ego’s web.

What I noticed is I set an intention before the conversation occurred. I wanted to give the conversation to the Holy Spirit, no matter how much my ego protested. It was a conscious decision. I was aware at every moment consciously what decision I was going to make, i.e. what I would say or what I would do. It was as if the conversation was happening in slow motion and perhaps it was because I would frequently stop and gather myself, closing my eyes for a moment to tune into my experience. Was I present? Or, was I being disturbed by the past? This person was dredging up the past, incident after incident, unaware of how it has affected their self-esteem and self-confidence. There were stuck in the past, but I need not be.

I needn’t accept the platter of guilt being handed to me. I can politely pass on the offering. Just because it is presented to me, I do not have to accept it. There may have been some actions I need to take responsibility or admit a mistake, however, I do not need to continue to admit it every time it is brought to me on the platter. When someone is upset, they need to simply be heard. I found by withdrawing any defense on my part helped the situation along until it came to a calm conclusion.

If I am grounded in my truth, do I need to defend? No. It was merely a means for this person who feels so out of control to try to control the situation. I care about this person and I love this person. Yet, I do not have to accept the guilt in the form of verbal or emotional abuse. Jesus does not ask us to suffer. We can be aware, make amends if needed, and do what we need to do. Mostly we are to respond to calls for love with love. That does not mean to attack back.

We do not have to live our lives in a whirlwind of chaos, rapidly traveling from one self-induced crisis to another, nor do we have to make our lives a soap opera or drama. I’ve been there. I know. I don’t desire it anymore. I desire peace. While in this recent situation, I simply looked calmly upon it, with no judgment (no matter what popped up from the ego) holding only the sacred space. It takes practice and patience and vigilance to be at this point. It is only as difficult as we believe it to be. We do not allow ourselves to be abused and we set healthy boundaries of course here in the world of form. Yet, we can do this with calmness in our heart. We can have peace in the midst of chaos. It is really up to us to choose. Be willing, be aware, be mindful, be vigilant and just, be.

Namaste,

Rev. Deb

Originally posted June 2015

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